At some point,far into earth's future, mankind will have words that will be capable of describing how bad this movie is...
Batman and Robin: A Manifesto
1. When I was a small child, I had nightmares about monsters under my bed,
kidnappers, alien, etc. To tell you the truth, I wet my bed frequently until
the age of six. After seeing Batman and Robin, the nightmares returned. So
did the bed wetting.
2. The acting: What acting? In fact, it's worse than bad. The english
language can't describe how bad it is. No language can. George Clooney turns the
dark and brooding Batman into a happy crime fighter with spunk! I don't ever
want to see a man in that much rubber smiling at me again.
3. The plot: It's bad. Every hollywood cliche is thrown in. To make you feel
sympathy, they threaten Alfred's death. "Oh no...the only likable character
is dying..." HE WAS TRYING TO GET OUT OF THE MOVIE! Save yourself Alfred.
Kill yourself, and you'll go warp speed to eternal happiness. I'm sure God
will forgive you for being in this "film".
4. The special effects: They're really bad. Gotham is now lit with neon pink
and blue lights. EVERYTHING is in neon. Batman and Robin show a blatant
disrespect for the laws of physics. I'm not talking about standard movie
stunts i.e; riding a shockwave, jumping off a 100 foot cliff, living through
huge explosions, etc., etc....They surf through the air, falling thousands
of feet through the air, sometimes moving STRAIGHT UP. Batman falls, then
moves upward, completely defying gravity.
5. The flaws: they're everywhere. At one point, Robin is being pulled
underwater. The shot goes like this: Robin is floating in the water-the
villain pulls him under the water briefly-he resurfaces. Simple, right? Well
instead of ACTUALY SHOOTING THE SCENE, they simply reverse the film halfway
through the shot, so it looks like he's coming out of the water, when in
fact you're seeing him go UNDERWATER backwards. ALSO, Alfred (just off his
deathbed) whips up a batsuit for Alicia Silverstone in a matter of
6. The rubber: Alicia Silverstone doesn't have nipples on her batsuit, but
Batman and Robin DO. THere are butt-shots and crotch-shots GALORE! What is
wrong with Joel Schumacher? I think we all know...
7. In one scene, Mr. Freeze wants to freeze Gotham, so he goes to the city
observatory, and plants little plastic icicles all over the telescope. Then
he goes to the top, and it's magically transformed to some kind of
freeze-ray. Does this make sense to you? THis sounds like it was written by
a tow year old. It makes about as much sense as the scene in "Kindergarten
Cop: where the little boy puts his "lazers" (actually balls of tinfoil) all
over a power line near his house.
8. There are too many characters. There's Batman, Robin, Batgirl, Mr.
Freeze, Poison Ivy, and Bane. That's six characters with twelve
personalities. This film gives new meaning to the word "filth".
9. It's a testament to the stupidity of the american viewing audience that
movies like this rake in millioms of dollars, while great movies like "The
Spanish Prisoner" and "Mystery Science Theater 3000" wallow in relative
10. There is no plot, character development, intelligence, or thoughtfulness
behind this movie. No story, no uniqueness, no artistic touches. There
aren't any clever camera techniques or special effects. Just a bunch of
11. This movie has nothing good in it, so they try to fill the gaping hole
with loud special effects, more characters, and more one-liners.
12. This film insults your intelligence.
13. It's too stupid for adults, and too empty for kids.
14. The horrible truth is, there are some people who like this movie. These
are the kind of people who watch WWF wrestling. These are the kind of people
who will never experience the joy of reading a good book (Fahrenheit 451 for
instance), or spend more than two seconds in deep thought. I feel sorry for
15. The music: They didn't even bother to score new music for this movie,
they just reused the music from the last Batman movie. The music is
apallingly bad. Good movies have music that fits the scene, that enhances
the movie, but doesn't overshadow it. It completes the movie. Films like
"Schindlers List", "The Truman Show" and "The Hunt For Red October" all have
music that perfectly fits the movie. This has recycled junk thrown
16. Joel Schumacher, this is a message for YOU: We (the viewing public)
don't want to pay seven dollars to see garbage. WE want to see movies that
make us think. When you leave a good movie, you can't stop thinking about
it. When you leave this movie (this could happen as quickly as two minutes
after the opening credits), all I think is "I want my money back". When I
left this movie, my ears hurt. My brain hurt. When I left this movie, I
left a part of my soul in the theater. It was stolen by the mind-blowingly
bad crapfest that is "Batman and Robin"..
nachol watch A Stitch In Time movie
One of the worst Batman ever..
nuclearbear32 watch Raid On Entebbe movie
omg yess!! :D this is an awsoem movie.
roze watch Beyond Borders movie
amir307 watch Risky Business movie
ghost ghost rider.
francesyanill watch Back In Action movie
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhgggggggggggggggggggg al finnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.
exelent for batman lovers.
Well worth watching a+.
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A lot of people don't like this film but it has always been my favourite .
"and now comes the part where I relieve you, the little people, of the burden of your frail and useless lives"
Schumacher sold his sole to Satan when he inflicted this garish,
neon-lit florescent pantomime on the world - as divorced from the
source material and the spirit of the original film as anything could
be, in fact the cartoon Batfink has more in common with the Batman
comics than this noxious, overblown, infantile adventure into crude
commercial interest. Broadly Batman & Robin is a remake of Schumacher's
ever so marginally superior Batman Forever, a sequel which was fairly
popular despite being the virtual clone of this reviled photochemical
filth. So just why IS it so bloody dreadful? For a start it's
astonishingly patronising to fans of the Dark Knight and fans of comic
books in general. Akiva Goldman's screenplay, because I suppose we have
to call it that, seems to assume that the audience will go and see
absolutely anything provided its loud enough and bright enough. But as
Tony Benn once remarked "I don't believe in scapegoats" so I'm afraid
the people who are actually to blame are people like yourselves. You
who went to see Forever 3 times, you who bought the video and the
tie-in U2 single and yes you, the one who said it was all much more fun
than the previous one. In fact everyone who partook in the process of
making Forever the biggest box-office hit of 1995 was consciously and
complicitly creating the commercial space in which this barely
nourished and puerile spectacle would gestate. Schumacher said that it
was the first film in which he's ever cared more about the money than
the material, an hilarious assertion given that there isn't any
material just cringe inducing puns, unbearable witless camp and a lot
of white noise. In a rare case of life imitating art I knew a man who
was actually a human cartoon, as witless, camp and overbearing as this
movie and he rushed out to buy the box-set version on video, spending a
fortune in the process. Proof that it isn't just owners and pets that
sometimes resemble each other, it extends to people and bad movies too.
Please, please please Warners, delete this. Do it tonight, you'll sleep