At some point,far into earth's future, mankind will have words that will be capable of describing how bad this movie is...
Batman and Robin: A Manifesto
1. When I was a small child, I had nightmares about monsters under my bed, kidnappers, alien, etc. To tell you the truth, I wet my bed frequently until the age of six. After seeing Batman and Robin, the nightmares returned. So did the bed wetting. 2. The acting: What acting? In fact, it's worse than bad. The english language can't describe how bad it is. No language can. George Clooney turns the dark and brooding Batman into a happy crime fighter with spunk! I don't ever want to see a man in that much rubber smiling at me again. 3. The plot: It's bad. Every hollywood cliche is thrown in. To make you feel sympathy, they threaten Alfred's death. "Oh no...the only likable character is dying..." HE WAS TRYING TO GET OUT OF THE MOVIE! Save yourself Alfred. Kill yourself, and you'll go warp speed to eternal happiness. I'm sure God will forgive you for being in this "film". 4. The special effects: They're really bad. Gotham is now lit with neon pink and blue lights. EVERYTHING is in neon. Batman and Robin show a blatant disrespect for the laws of physics. I'm not talking about standard movie stunts i.e; riding a shockwave, jumping off a 100 foot cliff, living through huge explosions, etc., etc....They surf through the air, falling thousands of feet through the air, sometimes moving STRAIGHT UP. Batman falls, then moves upward, completely defying gravity. 5. The flaws: they're everywhere. At one point, Robin is being pulled underwater. The shot goes like this: Robin is floating in the water-the villain pulls him under the water briefly-he resurfaces. Simple, right? Well instead of ACTUALY SHOOTING THE SCENE, they simply reverse the film halfway through the shot, so it looks like he's coming out of the water, when in fact you're seeing him go UNDERWATER backwards. ALSO, Alfred (just off his deathbed) whips up a batsuit for Alicia Silverstone in a matter of minutes. 6. The rubber: Alicia Silverstone doesn't have nipples on her batsuit, but Batman and Robin DO. THere are butt-shots and crotch-shots GALORE! What is wrong with Joel Schumacher? I think we all know... 7. In one scene, Mr. Freeze wants to freeze Gotham, so he goes to the city observatory, and plants little plastic icicles all over the telescope. Then he goes to the top, and it's magically transformed to some kind of freeze-ray. Does this make sense to you? THis sounds like it was written by a tow year old. It makes about as much sense as the scene in "Kindergarten Cop: where the little boy puts his "lazers" (actually balls of tinfoil) all over a power line near his house. 8. There are too many characters. There's Batman, Robin, Batgirl, Mr. Freeze, Poison Ivy, and Bane. That's six characters with twelve personalities. This film gives new meaning to the word "filth". 9. It's a testament to the stupidity of the american viewing audience that movies like this rake in millioms of dollars, while great movies like "The Spanish Prisoner" and "Mystery Science Theater 3000" wallow in relative obscurity. 10. There is no plot, character development, intelligence, or thoughtfulness behind this movie. No story, no uniqueness, no artistic touches. There aren't any clever camera techniques or special effects. Just a bunch of ever-larger explosions. 11. This movie has nothing good in it, so they try to fill the gaping hole with loud special effects, more characters, and more one-liners. 12. This film insults your intelligence. 13. It's too stupid for adults, and too empty for kids. 14. The horrible truth is, there are some people who like this movie. These are the kind of people who watch WWF wrestling. These are the kind of people who will never experience the joy of reading a good book (Fahrenheit 451 for instance), or spend more than two seconds in deep thought. I feel sorry for these people. 15. The music: They didn't even bother to score new music for this movie, they just reused the music from the last Batman movie. The music is apallingly bad. Good movies have music that fits the scene, that enhances the movie, but doesn't overshadow it. It completes the movie. Films like "Schindlers List", "The Truman Show" and "The Hunt For Red October" all have music that perfectly fits the movie. This has recycled junk thrown in. 16. Joel Schumacher, this is a message for YOU: We (the viewing public) don't want to pay seven dollars to see garbage. WE want to see movies that make us think. When you leave a good movie, you can't stop thinking about it. When you leave this movie (this could happen as quickly as two minutes after the opening credits), all I think is "I want my money back". When I left this movie, my ears hurt. My brain hurt. When I left this movie, I left a part of my soul in the theater. It was stolen by the mind-blowingly bad crapfest that is "Batman and Robin".. nachol watch A Stitch In Time movie
One of the worst Batman ever..
nuclearbear32 watch Raid On Entebbe movie
omg yess!! :D this is an awsoem movie.
roze watch Beyond Borders movie
×.
amir307 watch Risky Business movie
ghost
ghost rider.
francesyanill watch Back In Action movie
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhgggggggggggggggggggg al finnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.
zidood
Ù.
paola1995
exelent for batman lovers.
cantabgavin1974
Well worth watching a+.
rabbi12
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Pdmillard
A lot of people don't like this film but it has always been my favourite .
"and now comes the part where I relieve you, the little people, of the burden of your frail and useless lives"
Schumacher sold his sole to Satan when he inflicted this garish,
neon-lit florescent pantomime on the world - as divorced from the source material and the spirit of the original film as anything could be, in fact the cartoon Batfink has more in common with the Batman comics than this noxious, overblown, infantile adventure into crude commercial interest. Broadly Batman & Robin is a remake of Schumacher's ever so marginally superior Batman Forever, a sequel which was fairly popular despite being the virtual clone of this reviled photochemical filth. So just why IS it so bloody dreadful? For a start it's astonishingly patronising to fans of the Dark Knight and fans of comic books in general. Akiva Goldman's screenplay, because I suppose we have to call it that, seems to assume that the audience will go and see absolutely anything provided its loud enough and bright enough. But as Tony Benn once remarked "I don't believe in scapegoats" so I'm afraid the people who are actually to blame are people like yourselves. You who went to see Forever 3 times, you who bought the video and the tie-in U2 single and yes you, the one who said it was all much more fun than the previous one. In fact everyone who partook in the process of making Forever the biggest box-office hit of 1995 was consciously and complicitly creating the commercial space in which this barely nourished and puerile spectacle would gestate. Schumacher said that it was the first film in which he's ever cared more about the money than the material, an hilarious assertion given that there isn't any material just cringe inducing puns, unbearable witless camp and a lot of white noise. In a rare case of life imitating art I knew a man who was actually a human cartoon, as witless, camp and overbearing as this movie and he rushed out to buy the box-set version on video, spending a fortune in the process. Proof that it isn't just owners and pets that sometimes resemble each other, it extends to people and bad movies too. Please, please please Warners, delete this. Do it tonight, you'll sleep better.. |
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