Not good, not bad, just okay.
I found this film on the shelves of a French hypermarket on a day trip
to Calais. Presented in the same font and style as the 'American Pie'
films, I have to say that the local French title "Medieval pie -
Territoires vierges" did stand out, which was possibly the intention of
the DVD marketing company, trying to trade on the success of a similar
and more successful series of teen comedy films. Even now, after the
event, I'm still not sure whether any of the cast or crew of 'Medieval
Pie' have any involvement with the 'American Pie' franchise at all. I'm
doubtful. I get the feeling that this movie will be known under a
variety of titles in a variety of markets, and that alone should set
the alarm bells ringing in the heads of most sane movie reviewers.
There are a few familiar faces on display. Hayden Christensen, Mischa
Barton and Tim Roth are the three most obvious 'names', with 'Little
Britain's' David Walliams appearing in a
blink-and-you'll-almost-miss-him cameo. The main problem is that all
these actors are playing characters with hard-to-remember names. Barton
is Pampinea, Christensen is Lorenzo (who for some reason masquerades as
a deaf-and-dumb gardener in a convent where for some reason all the
nuns have sex with him, a central joke that gets tired very quickly,
even with all the nudity) while Roth is the main villain, Gerbino de la
Ratto. I was rather more impressed with Matthew Rhys' Russian Count
Dzerzhinsky, who rattled off his name and lineage on several occasions
without missing a beat - I could have done with a memory like that to
remember exactly who was who. It was a struggle at times.
My favourite scene was probably when the two women who get captured
(Rosalind Halstead & Kate Groombridge I believe) try and escape by
tricking their guards into dropping their trousers and lining up in
order of size and then creating an argument about whether you start
small and work up, or start large and work down (or even start in the
middle!). That was fun. The main love story involving Barton and her
three suitors (Christensen, Roth and Rhys) is perhaps not so
successful, and the less said about the sex-obsessed nuns the better.
It's an old fantasy for sure, imagining what nuns get up to behind
closed convent doors, but not especially original.
I've seen worse comedies for sure - anything involving Aaron Seltzer &
Jason Friedberg for one thing, but I have seen better too. I suppose
for the genre it represents, this sits somewhere in the middle of the
pack, so even though it did bypass the cinemas and go straight-to-DVD,
it's not really that bad. It deserves one viewing at least, but whether
it will hold up to multiple screenings is much less certain. I'm not
sure it will. I guess what I'm really saying, is wait until the sales -
don't pay full price for it - unless you have a thing about nuns
getting naked, in which case this is a 10/10 movie for sure. For me
though, it's just a five..
killdude4 watch Ae Fond Kiss... movie
cant wait nice 10 for movie.
matchifuti watch Popcorn movie
Yeah now that's what im talking about..
email@example.com watch National Geographic: Last Voyage Of The Andrea Doria movie
it makes adifferent. it gives courege..
abuaws watch Gang Related movie
it looks good move please watch it.
Relisys watch Deadly Impact movie
Lost. &. Day&night.
Face to face cray.
Lost :Google films. &dreams:emotional films.
nice movie.u should watch it.u will enjoy it..
Good movies. & Fanny .
What a mess
I really wanted to like this film but instead I'm bemused as to how
David Leland managed to make such a mess. The plot is scrappy at best,
there are far too many characters you are supposed to care about you
end up caring about none, it's never clear who or what the film is
really about, the acting is below par and the nudity is gratuitous.
The love affair between Lorenzo (Hayden Christensen) and Pampinea
(Mischa Barton) is implausible and you can't help but feel that
something is missing from the beginning of this film to help ground
their relationship in something other than the odd coy glance. The
acting isn't terrible but it is unforgivable in key places, in
particular whenever Barton and Christensen kiss, which feel so forced
and unnatural that it makes me wonder if Barton's real life boyfriend
was on set watching.
I wouldn't call this film a comedy however there are some very odd
moments where it seems comedy is the intention but it just doesn't
work. For example a cameo from David Walliams would be welcome in any
comedy but in Virgin Territory it just doesn't seem to fit - his zany
exploits are mistimed and misjudged.
Also, there are many moments that defy all logic (what is Elissa
suddenly doing in a lake on her own?) and a part me thinks that Leland
was maybe trying to create a film that felt something akin to The
Princess Bride. He failed, and he failed because I think he was also
trying to create a film that felt like Zoro, or Sense and Sensibility,
or Carry on Camping, or American Pie, or...in fact I don't think even
Leland knew what he was trying to do.
The sexual elements are also misplaced with one or two moments where it
seems Leland was gunning for the gross-out-teenage-sexual-angst genre.
He fails again, falling well short of what we're used to and only
confusing the audience further.
There are some facets of this film I did like: the film is pretty well
shot and the scenery in many scenes is a joy. I found Count Dzerzhinsky
(Matthew Rhys) a welcome light relief and his character by far the most
interesting and Christopher Egan did a fantastic job of portraying
Dioneo as the unhinged antagonist. However, these things could never
make up for a film that really doesn't know what it's doing, which is a
shame because it did have potential..